Have You Been Adopted?

Introduction

You may have just discovered you are adopted, or may already know and have just reached 18. Or maybe only now you feel ready to take a step nearer to finding out about your past. Whatever your circumstances, this section will help you understand more about adoption, the feelings you are experiencing and what steps you can take to find out about your past.

Islington Post Adoption Service can help you if you were born or you live in Islington or if Islington Council handled your adoption.

What does Adoption mean?

Adoption is a way of providing a child with new legal parents, and ends the legal relationship between a child and their birth parents. Adoptions are arranged by adoption agencies and are made legal by the court – having been satisfied that adoption is in the best interest of the child.

When an adoption is made legal, a new birth certificate is issued in the name of the new family.

About You

You may have reached a position in your life when you want to know more about your birth family and the circumstances surrounding your adoption. Many people will reach or have reached the stage you are at now.

It is completely natural to want to know more about your origins. It does not necessarily mean you are unhappy with your adoptive family or your life now, but your curiosity may have been triggered by the need to know about any hereditary health concerns, or even the emotions felt at the birth of your own child. Whatever reasons prompted you to find out about your past life, you will find it an emotional journey and it will be helpful to talk about your feelings with a trusted friend or relative. Or you can talk to our Post Adoption Worker (a trained social worker) who is experienced in all aspects of adoption.

Finding out about your Past

Children are usually adopted because their birth parents cannot raise them - for a variety of reasons. If you choose to find out more about your past and your files are located, you will learn much more about your family’s specific circumstances. The unknown can be painful and you may feel a sense of rejection by your birth family. One thing you may take comfort from, is the decisions made about you and your future whether by your birth parents, social workers or adoptive families, would have been the greatest importance to them all.

You may have some details about your birth family from your adoptive parents, as they will have been given information about you. If your adoption took place many years ago, the information may be limited.

If you know your birth name, you can obtain a copy of your original birth certificate from the General Register Office. The certificate will contain the name of your birth mother and possibly your birth father. You can then contact our post adoption worker or begin tracing either or both parents yourself.

For every adoption, there should be information kept in a file. This should contain interviews from members of your birth family, social workers and your adoptive parents at the time of your adoption. It should also have some information on your birth and adoption, what decisions were made and by whom. Islington and other adoption agencies recognise how important this information can be to you and also the effect it may have on you. Our post adoption worker is a trained social worker who can provide counselling and give advice on who or which organisations that can help you further.

Adoption Contact Register

You could find out if your birth parents/family have registered on the Adoption Contact Register. This means they have entered their contact details in the hope you will also make contact. The service will then let them know they have a match and that you are trying to contact them. No information is passed without the knowledge of each party. For a fee, you can register your wish for contact. If you want more information about the service provided by the General Register Office for England and Wales (or the equivalent in Scotland), see our useful links section.

Reunions

The search for your birth family could be an emotional experience. If you want to trace your birth family you need to be prepared for all eventualities.

If you are able to trace your birth family, this will probably trigger new emotions – in you, your adoptive family and your birth family. You may be feeling a mixture of apprehension, fear of rejection, anger or may just want to confront your birth parent on the decisions made in the past. Talking with our post adoption worker, can help you prepare and manage your expectations, feelings and emotions.